Being Alone
When I first launched my site Moluv.com back in 2000, my goal was pretty simple: create a collection of the best looking sites on the web. In doing so I noticed after the first few years that my interaction with black folks online was close to nil. It wasn't really a surprise, because it's been the same in most of my management and engineering jobs. Outside of my extended family, I really don't have an opportunity to interact with many black people in my day-to-day routine.
It's partly my fault though. I don't drink, smoke, or do any kind of drugs. Like many technical folks, I don't prefer large crowds. Through my upbringing I take the Bible seriously, although you would be hard pressed to ever find me preaching to anyone. Living by example has always meant more to me than telling people how they should behave. I've always been extremely monogamous. If extreme can be used as characterization for monogamy, that would be me. So, once I'm in a relationship, my social life pretty much goes out of the window. Ask Shab. :-) This is why not having black folks at work and in the online community probably has a bigger effect on me than most.
What's great about living in the San Francisco Bay Area is that I'm fortunate enough to hang out with people from a multitude of backgrounds. I can't stress how great a gift that has been, but even still, when things aren't going so great, it's nice to have a group of your peers to fall back on. When you're with a group of people from the same cultural background, there's a level of understanding about that background that's understood.
If you're latin, asian, middle eastern, African-American, white, or some combination, having someone you can relate to on an unspoken level in a professional or extracurricular environment is a huge benefit. Being a black male in the U.S. makes this especially true. After a while it begins to get frustrating explaining to people why it's so much harder. In a professional setting, because there are so few black folks (men especially) to begin with, the type of bonding that leads to advancement, or just plain job satisfaction is harder to come by.
Typically, after hanging out with me long enough most of my friends will eventually see what I'm talking about, and will commiserate, but it's still something they don't have to worry about in their daily lives. Black folks know exactly what I'm talking about, though. To explain the issue to them, would be like preaching to the choir.
This is why whenever I identify a talented black person online, it's like Christmas. It doesn't happen everyday. I never mean to take away from all of the other gifted people from every other nationality that I encounter, because talent simply cannot be ignored. Through Moluv.com, I've seen amazing work from and have communicated with people all over the globe. From The Netherlands, Germany, China, Brazil, the UK, every region of the US, Russia, the Middle East, etc.
To me, though, finding a skilled African-American on the web is a special event that deserves to be recognized. If you're black and have a site worth mentioning, post it here. Like me, although you may feel alone in the online world, and perhaps in your professional life, you are not. Or at least you don't have to be.
It's partly my fault though. I don't drink, smoke, or do any kind of drugs. Like many technical folks, I don't prefer large crowds. Through my upbringing I take the Bible seriously, although you would be hard pressed to ever find me preaching to anyone. Living by example has always meant more to me than telling people how they should behave. I've always been extremely monogamous. If extreme can be used as characterization for monogamy, that would be me. So, once I'm in a relationship, my social life pretty much goes out of the window. Ask Shab. :-) This is why not having black folks at work and in the online community probably has a bigger effect on me than most.
What's great about living in the San Francisco Bay Area is that I'm fortunate enough to hang out with people from a multitude of backgrounds. I can't stress how great a gift that has been, but even still, when things aren't going so great, it's nice to have a group of your peers to fall back on. When you're with a group of people from the same cultural background, there's a level of understanding about that background that's understood.
If you're latin, asian, middle eastern, African-American, white, or some combination, having someone you can relate to on an unspoken level in a professional or extracurricular environment is a huge benefit. Being a black male in the U.S. makes this especially true. After a while it begins to get frustrating explaining to people why it's so much harder. In a professional setting, because there are so few black folks (men especially) to begin with, the type of bonding that leads to advancement, or just plain job satisfaction is harder to come by.
Typically, after hanging out with me long enough most of my friends will eventually see what I'm talking about, and will commiserate, but it's still something they don't have to worry about in their daily lives. Black folks know exactly what I'm talking about, though. To explain the issue to them, would be like preaching to the choir.
This is why whenever I identify a talented black person online, it's like Christmas. It doesn't happen everyday. I never mean to take away from all of the other gifted people from every other nationality that I encounter, because talent simply cannot be ignored. Through Moluv.com, I've seen amazing work from and have communicated with people all over the globe. From The Netherlands, Germany, China, Brazil, the UK, every region of the US, Russia, the Middle East, etc.
To me, though, finding a skilled African-American on the web is a special event that deserves to be recognized. If you're black and have a site worth mentioning, post it here. Like me, although you may feel alone in the online world, and perhaps in your professional life, you are not. Or at least you don't have to be.
posted by moluv at 9:42 AM
2 Comments:
I am totally with you. I live in Tulsa OK so its really bad here. I never (and I mean NEVER) come across anyone who remotely relates to me (at my previous employer, the UPS guy and I would always acknowledge each other but that’s about it). It’s especially difficult when it comes to music and or news topics. I usually keep my mouth shut lol. This is not to say that I haven’t had great relationships with my co workers. Many of them I am proud to call friends, but from time to time you would like to be able to talk to someone on the same level who understands where you are coming from.
On a slightly related note, I want to say thanks for providing the information you have recently about your financial endeavors. I have just recently decided to go out on my own and start a business (tech related) and it has been a great help and motivation. I regret to say that I am a habitual “lurker” but I have enjoyed reading your posts over the past few months.
Thx for the feedback. Lurking is more than welcome. :-)
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